Of sharks and writing.

So after a massively weird November (derailed postgraduate degree is putting it mildly), comes December and it's that time to look back on the year.

Eeek! Better not! I left a trail of damaged good, stupid kneejerk reactions and a few things I think I didn't meant to say and write.

But hey, you live, you learn, you love, you learn and...whoa, am I citing Alanis Morissette?

Jebus almighty... anyways, December is always that introspective month that feels like those sleepless nights when The Worries (TM) come around an' play Fear poker in your head. All those things you've done and that uncertainty that you might've messed up more than you've helped.

Still, what's done is done. Flea from the Chili Peppers said once that "it's better to regret something you did that something you didn't" and although I regret that writing binge, I would've regretted more the fact that it's been 8 years since I've been able to finish writing a book/novel/short story.

I still got two to finish and here's hoping that I can finish one that's been on the backburner for the past three years.

The criticism that I got for my first book (self published and all) did get to me. Of that I'm sure. And it was Nanowrimo what made me see that. I was afraid of writing for fear of just crash and burning again, but thanks to Nanowrimo and the very friendly chaps from the Writing Society (loveable Amris, cool cat Matty), I managed to finish a story that I had in my head for the past five years.

Funny enough, yesterday I dreamt of sharks on the streets.

I gotta tell you something first: I've dreamt about sharks for ages. Usually they were jumping out from the sea, looking threatening as hell (thanks, Spielberg), sometimes able to walk on sand, sometimes the sea overflew and they came around to chomp humanity.

Heck, one of the best dreams/nightmares I've had was one where I was walking in the ledge of clear water cove and I could see the bottom of the water, with magnificent reefs and fishes and all sorts of wonderful animals and lo and behold, several big sharks. I remember thinking on that dream "I'm so close to death, but still, everything is amazing".

So, yes, I dreamt about sharks again yesterday. I dreamt that there was a flood in Sheffield and the water brought sharks. Very nasty Mako sharks. I woke up scared and refused to go back to sleep unless Noah and the Whale soothed me back to sleep.

I checked today about dreaming of sharks. It's a sign of pent-up anger, frustration or hidden feelings. Maybe things are starting to surface and writing is what helped my subconscious shovelled it out of the depths?

I'll sleep on that...